I have new resolve. It came to me yesterday after once again receiving mixed signals from the object of my desire. Well that just sounds creepy so lets just just call it my crush...even though that sounds juvenile but we will go with it.
Anyway, I said hello and got a very distant response and nothing more. To be honest I think there was some home drama that was taking the attention away from everything else. Sadly, part of me was hoping that there was trouble in paradise so that I could swoop in, but that would make me a bad person!
So, one word responses and those sad eyes told me there was something going on so I backed away. Even backed out of breakfast which would have been an opportunity to offer a shoulder to cry on.
This morning I awoke with a determination that I need to back the fuck off. Even if the available it could not work between us and hell I don't know for sure the feelings are even close to mutual. For now it may just be me longing and making a fool of myself.
The best thing I can do is double my efforts to keep things professional and not fall for those big sad blue eyes or get too caught up in the flirting. Some people flirt automatically not to be taken seriously so I need to focus and not get all caught up in what I am feeling. Just one day at a time. It is what I need to do and it keeps things uncomplicated.
I will miss the thoughts of what if, but sometimes what is best for us is not what we really want.
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