Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Deprived Fat Kid...

I have been very strict on my diet for two months now. That means no donuts, no ice cream, no sugary goodness, nothing fried and forget about anything swimming in grease. I have even had to eliminate alcohol from my daily life and it is taking a toll on me.

I am one of those people who is not naturally thin. I have to work extremely hard to achieve my max weight. Just seems so unfair.

The height and weight chart seems like it was put in place for gangly 18 year olds and not for someone who sits at the ripe old age of 40. If I were close to the low end of the scale I would look sickly. As it is now people tell me I am looking too thin and I am 8-10 pounds over my maximum.

So, I run and eat a plant based diet. Drink water or sugar-free drinks. I turn down alcohol and forget about popcorn at the movies or chips and salsa while watching football. My snacks are apples, pears, celery and a few pretzels. All in desperate attempts to weigh in under my maximum weight when COT starts.

My biggest fear is standing there for my weigh in and discovering I am over. I am sure scorn and sham will be directed my way and who knows they may send me home. My recruiter tells me that I will be sent packing is I don't make my weight and who knows he may be telling the truth. I cannot take that risk.

All I know is that I have been working extremely hard and the weight is slow to come off and with two months remaining I am starting to get a bit scared. I have even contemplated a liquid diet for a few weeks before.

The trouble with starving myself is that it weakens me and I still need to work hard on sit ups and push ups and improving my run time. Every tiny point I get will help. I have this sinking feeling that I am going to be dangerously close to failing my PT test as well.

Geez! See I still have two full months to stress about these things. Then throw in the holidays with all the tempting treats and goodies. It will truly be a test of my reserve leading up to my departure.

All I know, is once I complete COT I am treating myself to a beer and some nachos swimming in cheese. I have a mental list of all the bad stuff I plan to gourge on once I get through with COT.

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