She The Enemy

Working in a hospital has exposed me to the female sex a little more than I expected. i work with women, way to many women and this has allowed me to observe the fairer sex among their own kind. My study of the other sex has helped me to develop many theories some of which i will share this morning.

She The Hunter

women appear to be in constant competition with one another over everything. In the work place they compete over jobs/promotions. they have a passive aggressive approach to everything and it is not uncommon to have a woman smile to your face while talking trash about to everyone she comes in contact with. Working with women i have discovered they will eventually identify male coworkers as competition but they do not seem to gain the same joy as ripping us apart. i believe that is because we (as men) do not get caught up in their vicious games.

White Coat Tracker

If you have worked in a hospital you have no doubt ran across a white coat tracker. these are women on a mission. These gals are in hot pursuit of the Mrs. designation. women who entered health care to track down and trap a man, preferably a physician but if they are not available they will settle with any man who holds some sort of authority. Once they have procured their victim they somehow this elevates their status above their other female co-workers.

if you have doubts as to whether a woman os a coat tracker you just need to observe her behavior when a physician is present. does she suddenly put on make up? laugh at stupid jokes? Bat her eyes as the speed of light? If this be the case you have found a tracker.

The Queen Bee

moving from hospital to hospital I have run across a few queen bees. these are the women, usually older, who profess to know everything. Usually these women are VERY threatened by new comers until they can properly "size them up". I tend to quietly move about when i am new and don't say too much, but the queen bee will seek you out and interview you immediately. Where have you worked? where did you go to school? What degrees do you hold? Why are you here? God forbid if your resume is better than theirs! If that is the case the queen bee's mission will be to destroy you at all costs and this includes questioning everything you do from that point on. I have never been a big fan of the queen bees.

The Scout

It is easy to like the scout. She is usually very nice and humble. She befriends you and gets you to let your guard down and speak freely. Once you do she has accomplished her mission. The scout is the individual who has the job of finding out what makes you tick. What are your intentions? Who in the hospital do you like and who gets on your nerves? The scout gathers this information and immediately disperses the information. They may share this information with the queen bee, the unit manager or anyone else who can further her cause. Scouts,in some ways, are far more dangerous than the queen bee, because you do not always know who she is until it is too late.

She The Bitter

The bitter can also be the queen bee or a separate individual. the bitter is the person who has been working for a good while but has done nothing to improve her standing. In nursing she is the diploma or associate degree nurse who bad mouths any nurse who holds a higher degree or specialty. The bitter believes that longevity is the only TRUE means to evaluate knowledge and anyone who wastes his or her time on graduate degrees is just foolish. The bitter believes she can run the unit, hospital or anything better than any other person ever born. She also becomes very angry when others are promoted over her and digs her heels into her position even deeper.

there are other categories but these cover the ones who get on my nerves the most. Oddly,men just seem to go about their business and don't get all caught up in the female drama. I thought joining the military would allow me to work with more men, but I am doubting that will be the case.